measuring greatness

Grampa Franz with my mom Carol in Belgium, 1999

I cannot remember exactly when we heard the news but I know I was sitting in the lobby of the Sita Guest House in Varanasi, India when I read the email.  My Grandfather had passed away on November 5th, 2009.  We were fortunate to have seen him a couple weeks before we left for our travels and were certain he would pass while we were away.  Nothing really prepares you, but I knew at the time I was saying goodbye.  Despite his severe dementia, I knew in some strange way that he accepted this as our final parting as well.

It was humbling to be in the presence of someone who – in no small way – has left his mark upon hundreds and maybe thousands of souls.  Someone who has influenced his children and on down the generational line.  As a professor, he had shown people another world in his yearly pilgrimages to Europe and beyond.  I guess it is this legacy that I have chased, all the while forgetting that his legacy came at certain costs, too.  Even still, his task was accomplished quietly – with humility and grace.

It is impossible to quantify the gifts David Lincoln Franz bestowed upon the world.  I’m certain that if I tried I would soon realize that to any magnitude, I was measuring greatness…

kettle black…

Today was my first day home in two months.  I was out of the apartment before 7am and headed to Murray’s Bagels for breakfast.  A quick haircut and a coffee in Union Sq. to follow.  Walked to Beth Israel Medical Center to meet Sue.  Sat in the waiting room and listened to my neighbor chatting with his son.  He was in his 60’s.  He was saying things like, “A man kissing another man, disgusting!”  “Putting a ring on another man’s finger?”   “Two men married?  I don’t understand it!”

In 1909, I may have been able to say, “Black men able to vote?”  and “Equal rights for women?”  In 1964 I would have been labeled a racist/sexist.  I was born in an era that thought beyond such negative thinking and close-mindedness.  I’ve traveled the world to determine for myself what truth there may or may not be in stereotypes (and yes, there are many truths within stereotypes).  I was raised in a well educated home with strong values and unclouded by religious dogma.  Am I free of negative thoughts and feelings altogether?  No.

So why am I particularly offended by opinions held by anyone who watches FOX News?  People who voted for McCain/Palin?  People who consider O’Riley or Limbaugh prophets?  Well, I usually don’t care.  They embarrass themselves with ignorance.  I’m ashamed of anyone who, 45 years ago, was not allowed to vote and was not allowed to eat or drink in the same places I would have been able to and yet still believes others do not deserve equal rights in the United States.

I’m not saying that the man next to me in the waiting room is wrong for having his feelings about homosexual men (I do not agree with him either).  I’m going so far as to saying that anyone considered a minority in this great country who had great people like Martin Luther King jr., Elizabeth Cady Stanton, John F. Kennedy jr., and Rosa Parks fight for their rights CANNOT turn a blind eye to equal rights for others.  Shame on you if you believe that benefits should not be extended to families of same-sex partners.  Shame on you, unless of course you are willing to give up your own rights.

So welcome home.  Land of the free and home of the brave.  I’m unbelievably happy to be home after 2 months of travel.  I was quickly reminded of how far we’ve come and how far we have yet to go.  In FDR’s inaugural address in 1933, he uttered the famous line, “…let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”  The unknown equals fear.  Back then the unknown was the great depression.  We again face similar challenges, so the speech is worth a read.  Today one of the ‘unkowns’ is still equal rights for all.  Wake up America!  We can do better.

the new deal

India and Nepal were a blast and all, but Hong Kong has been a taste of all that is right in the world.  Makes me eager to return to New York and rebuild a proper life.  This travel has opened my eyes in a way that all our former travel had not.  I may have been tired of travel before we stepped on the plane to India.  We’ve slept in over 100 different beds in countless different towns, villages and cities around the world in the past 500 days.  Ate food that was delicious and food that was impossible to swallow day-after-day-after-day.  Much has happened over the past two months at home and there’s still more to come.  Enough for us to cut our trip short by two months.

I don’t think I’ll ever regret this decision to return.  I have new insights and new inspirations.  I have renewed patriotism and eagerness to take advantage of all our country has to offer.  I could live in Hong Kong.  I could live in Tokyo.  I could certainly be comfortable in a European city.  For now we live in the most bad-ass city in the world.  New York City.  I couldn’t be more proud of that and I think Sue and I both are wanting a slice of home.  December 3rd we leave Hong Kong.  December 3rd we land and I just may kiss the ground when I get there…

sadhu

Sadhu: Varanasi, India ~ 2009 John David Becker

If at first you don’t succeed…  The Sadhu’s set themselves apart from other holy men in the Hindu faith.  Living lives of poverty and wandering, they do not collect earthly possessions and do not care about money.  Their bodies are not cremated at a burning ghat on the Ganges; rather they are sunk into the river.

In Nepal, there were supposedly real Sadhu’s and fake Sadhu’s.  The business of being a holy man was too good.  We found Sadhu’s to be hawkish and even more relentless about asking for money than the hawkers selling goods.  They would walk up to you and place flowers on your head and mark you with a bindi: promptly asking you for rupees after.  Not just a token amount either.  If you had a camera, Sadhu’s were more aggressive.  Photo?  200 rupees.  Oh, and you can bargain for less.

In Varanasi, we found the Sadhu’s to be less in-your-face.  I don’t know if they all requested money, but they didn’t actively look for it.  I did get some pictures of a less intimate nature, but I finally found the one Sadhu that I wanted a photograph of.  10 rupees.  Ok.  Get some shots.  Walk away.  Within 20 seconds, I realize I didn’t get the exact shot I wanted.  Went back for round two.  Did you forget me?  10 more rupees.  So I get the shot.  Cost me $0.50USD total.  Such an insignificant amount, but where’s the holy?  Tit-for-tat I guess.

playing your hand…

As I sit in total comfort in a Hong Kong hotel room, it’s impossible to not reflect on the past month of travel.  Through Nepal and India, there were plenty of rough moments and plenty of highlights.  The food was up-and-down but usually started well below our baseline.  The poor infrastructure was nothing new and yet this time seemed a bit more harsh on the nerves.  My health more than Sue’s has been questionable almost since the first week.  The only consistent condition is a perpetually stuffy nose.  Coughing, stomach problems, sinus infection, sore throat, lethargy and other various symptoms have been unique and relentless like waves to the shore.

So I’m endlessly thankful for Hong Kong.  A place of civility and modernity.  I couldn’t wait to get here.  I wondered if something happened.  India was always a favorite country.  Been there twice before.  Why is it now so difficult?  Why was Nepal not the wonderland others experienced?  I know health is a major factor in anyone’s ability to enjoy a place.  I don’t think it was entirely that.  I think it comes down to overexposure to one of the fundamental parts of the travel experience.  Randomness and change.

Sue and I spend over six months last year traveling.  This year we started by planning a big move to Japan for teaching.   In that planning, we parted with our dear kitties and our dear apartment – the place we could call home.  Come June, we started our vagabonding.  First in California and then Washington.  Returned to the East for some more random house-holding.  Planned this big four month trip.  Started this big four month trip.  That perpetual motion is exhausting.  The cliche is travel is not less for the experience at hand, but it is definitely more for the experience of home anew.  If our dreams of starting a home and getting a puppy are real.  If my desire to get home and really start working at our business feverishly are real.  If the cliche is real, then we may need to return home sooner.

What a thought.  Cut short travel when we already did so much work for it?  Doing something others only wish they could do?  Why can’t we just find a beach to sit on for the next two months?  I don’t know.  I wish I had the answer.  Sometimes illness can force your hand but wondering if it forces your hand before you’re ready becomes the ultimate question.  Will I feel better and regret returning?  Maybe.  Will I feel better knowing that I did what I could and made a big-boy decision?  Possibly.  Travel doesn’t always have to be right and feel right.  I guess that’s what extended travel enables you to learn.  The future will be determined today most likely.  I’m curious to see which hand we play.

fun with maoists…

And to further complicate the ebb-and-flow of daily Nepali life and politics, we received an email from the US Embassy in Nepal:

Important Security Announcement for American Citizens in Nepal

This warden message is being issued to alert American citizens that the
Maoist Party (UCPN-Maoist) has announced a number of protest events to
be carried out in November.  In the past, some of these events have
materialized and some have not.  The Maoists announced that they intend
to conduct the following:

*   Nov 1, 2009          – Nationwide torch light rally

*   Nov 2, 2009          – Mass gatherings, picketing of local government offices

*   Nov 4-5, 2009       – Surrounding district administration offices

*   Nov 9, 2009          – Declaration of Autonomous regions

*   Nov 10, 2009        – Protesters will picket and block the main roads leading

into the Kathmandu valley and to the airport

*   Nov 12-13, 2009   – Mass gatherings around the Singh Durbar area

Please be cognizant and aware of your surroundings and what may
transpire. American citizens are strongly urged to avoid mass gatherings
and demonstrations.

So we thought about doing some more work with non-profits 8 hours west of Kathmandu, but this killed that idea.  Our original intent was to leave on November 10th.  Funny how that would be the day the Maoists block the airport.  We’ve heard these disruptions can be insignificant and then we’ve heard they can shut down every restaurant, business and petrol station for the entire time.  That would leave us high and dry.  Pushed our exodus to Tuesday the 3rd.  Heading out to Varanasi, India.  Thank you Maoists for helping us with our itinerary…

mighty himalaya

Annapurna I, Annapurna South & Fishtail ~ 2009 John David Becker

To think these beauties standing at 7,900m and above were once at the bottom of the sea.  We woke at 0430 on October 20th to ascend to 10,000 ft atop Pun Hill.  The sun cracked the early morning sky, painting it’s warmth on the mountain faces.  This was the blessing we earned for two hard days of trekking the Annapurna Circuit.  These mountains will continue their journey skyward long past our days on this planet.  We gain strength reflecting on their permanence.  We are modest and humble in the shadows of the Himalaya.

My thoughts and prayers go to my grandfather…

sue fan & jb ~ 2009 John David Becker

living in the moment…

October 22, 2009. 1415 hrs.  Cafe Zorba.  2nd floor.  Central Lakeside, Pokhara.  Protected from the hot sun.  We entered and Nora Jones was playing.  Not expected but instantly comforting.  We linger for a couple hours and the music has long since ended.  I say to Sue, “what happened to the music?” and suddenly Ben Harper’s “Walk Away” comes on.  We instantly stop our reading and enter our separate worlds of reflection.  Sue sings the words.  I stare out over the street scene and the mountains beyond.  A small tear wells in my eye.  At that single moment I felt at home.  I felt the pressure of travel and chaos lift.  I felt the burden of the unknown dissipate.  I felt whole.

Music can calm and transform but most importantly, music can heal.  It was during those three minutes of music that I realized we have entered a time where we truly live in the moment.  Travel can take you to that place.  There is no minute quite like the previous or the next.  Having been on the road and relatively homeless for five months already, we come to think of the place we inhabit at that moment as “home”.  Nomadic life.  We decided that in the past two years we have slept in more unfamiliar places and unfamiliar beds than most people will in their entire lives.  Each one was home that day.  Each place birthed the next moment for us to live in.  Without the pressures of home, the thoughts of bills to pay or the ordinary chores to tackle, all we have to do is survive.  Not a huge epiphany, but sometimes we fail to recognize and acknowledge “the moment” and Ben Harper brought me there.

The other significant and no less important thought at that time was also a slogan.  “Home is where the heart is.”  Sue sitting across from me but in her own space.  Lyrics flowing through her and bringing her to a special place.  I may ebb and flow with our travel adventures.  Anyone should.  But having your travel partner and lover by your side makes everything ok.   Struggles and triumphs all even out when you share true happiness regardless of the external world.  Sue is my home.

get us out

Quick update.  We went on a nice but strenuous trek in the Annapurna region.  More on that later.  Just returned to Pokhara last night.  Very tired and very burnt out.  We are currently looking for the quickest way out of Nepal.  I am feeling sickly often and I think it has a lot to do with the horrendous levels of pollution.  Nepal has been a disappointment on many levels.  It’s not the people.  They are typically warm and helpful.  The vast majority of people that congregate in obvious tourist sectors are always looking for something.  Even friends-of-friends are really not helping you as much as they are attempting to make you believe they are able to get you whatever you want at a better price.  It is quite exhausting especially for people who are well traveled.  We find inexperienced travelers here rave about Nepal and the exact opposite from people who have more to compare it to.   I think we can safely say we are still enjoying ourselves, but I find our overall outlook to be negative.  It may have had to do with extended lingering in Kathmandu.  We’ll keep updating as we make decisions.  Still haven’t done one day of volunteering and that system seems plenty broken as well.

laughter is contagious…

laughing little monks

Joy is infectious.  I mentioned this monastery in an earlier post.  We had a great time.  You quickly realize that the monks are just kids like any other.  Filled with pranks and jokes.  Teasing and bullying each other.  I know there is time when their learning must be disciplined, but it’s also important to just let kids be kids…